You lose your temper in ways that do not match the child standing in front of you
Larchmont, NY • In-Person & Online Across NY, NJ & PA
Therapy for Parenting With a Trauma History
Therapy for parents whose own childhood keeps surfacing in the most difficult moments.
Talia DiPietro, LCSW
Why Parenting Brings Your Own Childhood Back
Parenting puts you back inside a childhood you may have spent decades getting clear of. A tone of voice. A particular age. A specific kind of defiance, and something old arrives well before you have decided anything about it.
The trigger is usually specific rather than general. Many parents do fine until their child reaches the age they were when things went wrong, or until a situation echoes one they were on the other side of. Then the reaction outruns the moment.
None of this means you are repeating what was done to you. Noticing the pull is the thing that separates you from it, and the parents who find a page like this one are usually already doing the part that matters most.
a personal note
How I Help Struggling Parents
I’m Talia DiPietro, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Larchmont, New York, and complex and relational trauma have been the core of my practice for years.
Parents arrive here carrying one specific fear, which is that what was done to them is going to travel down. The fear is reasonable. It is also the reason they are sitting in the room, and that counts for more than it currently feels like it does.
what we work on
Do You Hear Your Own Parent Coming Out of Your Mouth?
- You lose your temper far faster than the situation itself ever called for
- One particular age or behaviour sets you off more than the rest
- You hear a parent of your own in your voice and go cold
- You shut down and disappear rather than ever raising your voice
- Afterward the shame lands far bigger than the thing that happened
- You are frightened of passing on what was done to you as a child
how it works
How I Approach This Work
We find the specific trigger. Parenting itself is rarely the issue. It is usually one age, one behavior, or one particular tone.
Skills for ten seconds. Most of what you end up regretting happens in the gap between the trigger and your response, so we build something you can use inside that gap.
Repair matters more than perfection. You will lose it sometimes. Rupture and repair is well described in attachment work, and repairing afterward is a skill we can practise here directly.
Shame gets addressed head on. Parents carry shame that stops them saying the thing out loud. Whatever it is, it can be said here, and saying it out loud is usually where the work starts.
Your own history gets room. This is not parenting coaching with a trauma label on it. What happened to you gets worked on in its own right, because that is what drives the reaction.
what we work on
What I Help With
Losing your temper. Work on the anger that arrives faster and bigger than the moment standing in front of you ever called for.
Shutting down and going cold. Support when your response to being overwhelmed is to disappear rather than to raise your voice at anybody at all.
One age that is harder. Work on the particular stage of your child’s life that lands differently because of what happened at that age for you.
The shame afterward. Help with the shame that follows a bad moment and is almost always far out of scale with the moment itself.
Fear of repeating it. Work on the fear that what was done to you is going to travel down to them, and on what makes that less likely.
Your parent as a grandparent. Support when your own parent is now in your child’s life and you are deciding what access should look like.
is this a fit?
This Therapy Is for You, If:
One particular age or one behavior sets you off far more than any of the others do
You are frightened of passing on to them what was done to you when you were young
Getting started is simple
How to Get Started
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01
Book a Free Consultation
Use the contact form or call 929-400-7783 to set up a free 20-minute phone or video consultation.
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02
Talk It Through
We go over what brought you here and whether I am the right fit. If so, I send consent forms and we schedule.
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03
Begin the Work
We map out what is driving the pattern, agree together on where to start, and work at a pace you set.
Common questions
Frequently Asked Questions
Why does my own child trigger me so much?
Usually because something in the moment matches something old: a tone, an age, a kind of defiance, or a situation you were once on the other side of. The response fires before you have processed anything, which is why it feels like it comes from nowhere.
Why do I get so angry at my kids over small things?
When a small thing produces a large reaction, the size of the reaction is generally about something other than the small thing. Anger that arrives faster and bigger than the situation warrants is one of the most common ways an old stress response shows up.
Is it normal to be triggered by your own child?
It is extremely common among parents who had difficult childhoods, and it is talked about far less than it happens. Being triggered is not evidence that you are a bad parent. It is evidence that parenting is putting you near something unresolved.
How do I stop repeating my parents’ patterns?
Mostly by getting specific: which pattern, in which situation, at which age. Broad resolutions rarely survive a hard evening, whereas knowing your particular trigger and having something to do in that moment is workable. Repair afterward does real work too.
Is this the same as trauma-informed parenting?
Not quite, and the distinction matters when you are searching. Trauma-informed parenting usually means parenting a child who has been through something difficult, and most of the material online is written for foster and adoptive families. This page is about your own history.
Do you take insurance, and how do I get started?
I am out of network and do not bill insurance directly, though I provide superbills you can submit for reimbursement. My fee is $275 and I offer 5-session packages based on sliding scale needs. To start, call or use the contact form. I respond within 24 to 48 hours.
Ready when you are
Ready to start therapy for parenting with a trauma history?
Reach out for a free 20-minute consultation — no pressure, just a conversation.
If you are in crisis or thinking about harming yourself, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, or call 911. Therapy is not an emergency service.